my darling girl, two years ago you entered my world, turned it upside down. I truly never knew I could love someone so much. Being a mumma can sometimes be tough and you will probably find that out one day, but all it takes to make it all worthwhile is for you to look at me and say “mumma”. It has been a bumpy little ride so far but you make it all so worthwhile, I love you to the moon and back and then some…you are truly the light of my life. All my love, your mumma xx
in case it was lost on you freya had a red and white polka dot party….I decided the theme also extended to the party food…mini sponge cakes, white polka dot caramel creams, lemon cupcakes, jam drops, champagne berry jellies (for the big kids), strawberries dipped in white chocolate & slivered almonds, white rocky road and meringues sandwiched with white chocolate ganache…needless to say freya was bouncing off the walls for hours!
I have been so busy the last few months I have hardly had a second to raise the camera to her…I picked her up tonight to carry her to bed and really realised…she is not a baby anymore… she is nearly two… I bribed her with smarties to stay still for 5 minutes (it took a whole mini packet which is evident, in between her teeth and in her dribble) and forced myself to take some photos of her last few days of onedom. I’m so glad I did…I realised looking at these photos it’s the first time in a long time that I have seen her still…frozen in time and 100% ratbag…I think this one is going straight to the pool room….
I know many of you have been wondering what has happened to me (yes, you mum!), so I thought I had better check in with a sneak peek of the divine tropical wedding I have just been to Singapore to photograph. I can’t wait to post the rest and catch up on all of my other blog posts… I am working double time to clear the back log and thank you again to my wonderfully patient clients (you know who you are…the ones wondering where your photos are! ).
these are Freya’s cool kicks…I love them…they make me smile, they brighten up a cold winters day, but looking at them now, I realise they mean so much more…she is growing up so fast.
I am so guilty of mentally speeding up her life; fascinated sometimes to the point of obsession about what she will be… what she’ll look like… what she’ll love and hate… if she’ll be a fashion obsessed teen, a book worm, an athlete like her father or rebel against me completely, turn emo and hate her mother (btw. I have guessed the later)… I even measured her height this week; you know the rule of thumb about doubling their height at two…and I had even read somewhere that for girls that it is more accurate at 18 months…this week she was 22 months and it’s another thing I just had to know… it was 1 cm taller than me, it was a surprise I thought it would have been taller…
Maybe it’s just because I can’t stand the suspense… I was one of those first time mothers that found out the second I could about her sex…I had an amnio so they could tell me for sure (this btw was NOT the reason I had the amnio – just had to clarify…)…but I’m still guilty.
It’s been a tough adjustment in the last month; I no longer have the buffer of my wonderful mother. I’m facing sole single parenting for the first time, just Freya and I… as well as trying to run my own business and chase my tail.
She is all of a sudden so independant…she no longer gives me kisses and cuddles…(M. Freya can I have a kiss…F. nah…M. Pleeease…F. noooooo…), she is using more and more words (this week it’s train, plane and rain which probably only a mother can decipher)… starting to dress herself (well much better at the undressing…) and stamping her independence by refusing to get in the bath or have dinner (ah witching hour!)…
I have realised while looking at this photo… it’s time to I need to be a better mum… know my limitations, spend less time saying no Freya mum is too busy, stop stressing that I can hear her now in her bedroom saying oh no..which means instead of sleeping she in throwing her teddies on the floor… or throwing everything out of the plastics cupboard for the third time today (because that is the only one without a child lock)… be more in the now…
what do they say…life’s a journey, not a destination…and in the meantime they are cool kicks…
and to all my clients that have been so patient during the transition thank you! and to anyone still out there, thanks for sticking around!
i’m back! another great trip to Singapore over… huge apologies for the the blogging black hole I feel into! I had the best intentions and am usually better organised but travelling with my side kick seemed to waylay any great plans.
I was hyperventilating at the sheer thought of this plane trip with Freya; she has never been a great traveller…. but it just goes to prove again that there’s no point wasting energy worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet…she was an absolute gem! and this is for everyone who thinks she must be the most photographed child in the world… what can I say? when your on a plane for 8 1/2 hours what else are you going to do??
Anyway…stay tuned for the next few weeks, between moving house this week (yay! more on that later…), I promise to not disappear again for a while…
btw… I can NOT say enough great things about Singapore Airlines when travelling with children. Anyone that knows me knows that I am #1 member of the SQ fan club (well behind the 4 million or so Singaporeans) but there is a reason they are voted the best airline in the world! SQ you are my BFF!
before I was a mum….I didn’t know my heart could exist outside my body…
before I was a mum…I didn’t know how gloriously happy I would be at a simple smile, or the heart break I would feel when I couldn’t take away the hurt…
before I was a mum…I didn’t know someone so small could bring me so much joy, so much happiness, and make me feel so complete…
before I was a mum….
this week my dear friend Sam, sent me an email that went a little bit like that…it rang so true with me. I was not ever one of those girls that always knew she was going to be a mum and yes, I could not ever have known how it would transform me. It fills me with so much joy, satisfaction, frustration, fear, excitement, wonderment, pride and love. Sometimes I get so filled with all those emotions it brings me to tears. To now steal from Jack Nicholson…being a mum makes me want to be a better person. My heart does exists outside my body every moment she is awake and is asleep. You were right mum, I do now understand…now that I am a mum…
on a side note…so sorry for the non existent posts whilst I have been in Singapore, I have tried and failed many times to get something up but my slow as the week before your birthday laptop and crazy schedule have kibosh’d my plans…I promise to make it up when I get back to Aus in week or so…please come back again, it will be worth it…promise!
it’s funny her new favourite word is bok-ken… everything is bok-ken; the shoes she pulls off her dolly… the playschool dvd that’s finished… the teddy that she throws off the chair… I can verify it was also the fate of these eggs, soon they would be bok-ken for real bok-ken! …sometimes I think I’m crazy… trying to get these eggs on the grass and get a shot in before Freya boke them (if you look hard you may see she had already succeeded on the dark red one!)… the dog came and ate them (yes to my dismay shells and all)…and the sun went down… You see, I had something else in mind for my happy easter greeting… it didn’t work, I should have known better… I raced home and while it was still light, thought on my feet and here is plan B. I like it. Happy Easter!
Picture yourself in a boat on a river
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Cellophane flowers of yellow and green
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes
And she’s gone.
(Canon 5D MKII, 24-70mm 2.8 L, lens hood, serious lens flare and a VERY dirty lens)
…my own little indulgence… have a great weekend! xA
it has rained…oh it has rained! it rained cats and dogs…the pool overflowed…the roof leaked…I’d heard enough of Iggle Piggle to last me into her teen years…we both had a serious case of cabin fever. so I started folding paper boats …oh I love You Tube! and then between the storms we made a dash for it….
I’ll be the first to call it…they are dodgy looking boats that look a bit more like a chinese hat…but they did float!
I should have known better… her interest in floating paper boast ingeniously crafted by her mother only lasted a fleeting moment… Freya’s current obsession is dunking all of her loved ones in water… it’s usually in the dog’s water so this teddy got off pretty lightly!
this is the look Freya carries around most of the time…
and I know I have posted a shot like this before but I just can’t get enough of it… it’s something I really want to etch in my mind… I LOVE that she wants to hold my hand all the time and take me into her world and discover things together.
