cool kicks | life

these are Freya’s cool kicks…I love them…they make me smile, they brighten up a cold winters day, but looking at them now, I realise they mean so much more…she is growing up so fast.

I am so guilty of mentally speeding up her life; fascinated sometimes to the point of obsession about what she will be… what she’ll look like… what she’ll love and hate… if she’ll be a fashion obsessed teen, a book worm, an athlete like her father or rebel against me completely, turn emo and hate her mother (btw. I have guessed the later)… I even measured her height this week; you know the rule of thumb about doubling their height at two…and I had even read somewhere that for girls that it is more accurate at 18 months…this week she was 22 months and it’s another thing I just had to know… it was 1 cm taller than me, it was a surprise I thought it would have been taller…

Maybe it’s just because I can’t stand the suspense… I was one of those first time mothers that found out the second I could about her sex…I had an amnio so they could tell me for sure (this btw was NOT the reason I had the amnio – just had to clarify…)…but I’m still guilty.

It’s been a tough adjustment in the last month; I no longer have the buffer of my wonderful mother.  I’m facing sole single parenting for the first time, just Freya and I… as well as trying to run my own business and chase my tail.

She is all of a sudden so independant…she no longer gives me kisses and cuddles…(M. Freya can I have a kiss…F. nah…M. Pleeease…F. noooooo…), she is using more and more words (this week it’s train, plane and rain which probably only a mother can decipher)… starting to dress herself (well much better at the undressing…)  and stamping her independence by refusing to get in the bath or have dinner (ah witching hour!)…

I have realised while looking at this photo… it’s time to I need to be a better mum… know my limitations, spend less time saying no Freya mum is too busy, stop stressing that I can hear her now in her bedroom saying oh no..which means instead of sleeping she in throwing her teddies on the floor… or throwing everything out of the plastics cupboard for the third time today (because that is the only one without a child lock)… be more in the now…

what do they say…life’s a journey, not a destination…and in the meantime they are cool kicks…

and to all my clients that have been so patient during the transition thank you!  and to anyone still out there, thanks for sticking around!